Here is a place where students from Mr. Johnson's class can post their writing. Please make when you are publishing, sign your name at the bottom of your piece.
Friday, March 25, 2011
My talk with the moon
The moon comes up to my ear and whispers,with its crackling breath .Frost gathers on me. As I gaze into the moons eyes I see shining stars.But actually it is the sun peeking out from behind the moon. Trying to get a glimpse of the night.I look at its round shape and think it is a big diamond lighting up our sky.As it reflects off of the succulent buds covered with wet raindrops blooming on the trees, ground and in flower pots.I see all the craters on its face.I guess that they are bruises from all the bigger moon bullies.I almost feel sorry for it.But now we say our goodbyes and it goes back up into the dark, misty sky and disappears.After a long talk at night , it goes to sleep in the long lasting day.
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i forgot to put my name,Shubhanjali
ReplyDeleteHi Shub., we were partners a lot during editing for our poems and I really think your poem was just amazing. You used many metaphors and otamotapea (or how ever thats spelled!) like "whisper" and "I guess that they are bruises from all the bigger moon bullies" - brilliant! You did such a good job Shubhanjali,
ReplyDeleteLove Maile
P.S. it says "nancy says" because i am in my moms acount.
Hi shub that was a nice poem and i loved when you said " bruises from all the other moon bullies" very nice!
ReplyDeleteyour friend Darius
Oops, that says Nancy @ the top. I forgot to log in so its under my moms name. Sorry
ReplyDelete